Dah'es
by Kakyd
Summary: He would not however, feel bad about the fact that they had managed to both destroy the Romulan threat and save Earth; something they may not have achieved had they followed Spock's command. Pre Kirk/Spock friendship. OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I own nothing regarding Star Trek, the characters or universes. I'm merely borrowing them to play with.

**Dah'es**

James Kirk was beginning to regret choosing the steak for dinner. It was slowly going to waste as he sat contemplating the ship's current state of affairs in the nearly empty dining commons. The only other occupant was a lone cadet perched at a table reviewing a PADD. Next to the cadet sat a dinner as neglected as his own.

The _Enterprise_ was limping back to Earth for extensive repairs following the battle with The _Narada_; several crew members were laid up in sickbay being hassled back to health by the good doctor McCoy and those well enough to work, were doing their utmost to keep the ship running until they arrived at dock. He himself had an unimaginable amount of forms and reports that needed filing; he was currently avoiding his desk in the hopes that they would either magically file themselves or failing that wonderful hope, that Star Fleet would decide paperwork was not a number one priority. He wasn't holding his breath.

Kirk absentmindedly toyed with the lettuce gracing the side of his plate. The salad was his one concession to McCoy in an attempt to at least appear as though he were trying to be healthy and so he had loaded up on broccoli and carrots despite hating the stuff. The doctor was running a very full sickbay with little assistance and a swiftly diminishing stock of medical supplies. He certainly wasn't interested in seeing repeat customers at the moment. And particularly not because said customer wasn't eating properly. Kirk wasn't sure why he had bothered at this point however; McCoy wasn't there to appreciate the sacrifice and even he himself could admit that playing with the veggies didn't have quite the same effect as eating them.

The acting Captain had swung through sickbay earlier so that McCoy could look at the bruises, abrasions and various other minor injuries that he had accumulated in the course of his multiple fights with the Romulans, his brief marooning on Delta Vega and the altercation with Spock. Bones had gruffly declared him fit enough for duty and he'd been sent on his way with a hypo spray of pain killers and anti-inflammatory meds jabbed in to the side of his neck, along with instructions to come back if his throat started to feel like it was swelling.

Before he'd left, Kirk had tried to see how Captain Pike was doing; Bones had informed him quite shortly that he was still alive but was currently unconscious; he made it very clear that this could only be a blessing at this point. Followed with an exasperated query as to whether or not the acting Captain had a ship to run, and would he mind getting the hell out of his sickbay and allowing the person with the medical degree to see to actual SICK people.

'_And try to keep your neck away from any more pissed off people or aliens…at least until those bruises fade.'_ had been barked at his back as he exited.

Jim wandered the decks for bit then, here and there examining damage to the ship and surveying the crew about the progress of repairs, but had eventually given in to the angry protests from his stomach and made his way to the dining commons in search of dinner. He couldn't remember when he had eaten last. Surveying the options offered by the replicator, he decided the steak sounded like a pleasant distraction from his thoughts and he looked forward to merely sitting and enjoying dinner. A couple of bites into the meal however, and the replicated meat had settled like stones in his gut. He found that he couldn't continue.

His thoughts had started to drift towards the Vulcan currently running the bridge and the fragile truce they were operating under. Jim felt horrible about the loss of control he had forced upon the man, particularly after the destruction of his home planet. He could not and would not however, feel bad about the fact that they had managed to both destroy the Romulan threat and save Earth; something that may not have been achieved had they followed Spock's command. Despite this he was still wary of the other man and hesitant to invade his space at the moment; this was partly why he wasn't currently on the bridge where he very badly wanted to be. Part of this unspoken truce included trusting the Commander to do his job, something he did very well. Jim wouldn't hesitate to testify to that fact.

He supposed part of his reluctance to deal with the Commander came from his interactions with Spock's older counterpart on the ice planet and it wasn't entirely fair to place that burden upon the younger version. Not that this fact was slowing the steady burn of annoyance that had ruined the dinner now cooled on the tray in front of him, but if he was being truly magnanimous, he supposed he ought to cut the guy some slack. After all, he didn't know they had been good pals in some alternate universe; one that Kirk was seriously starting to regret ever having been privy too.

It didn't help that every time he came into contact with his First Officer, he'd forget that they hadn't been friends for years. It was jarring to realize that someone he felt so instinctively comfortable around was in essence a stranger. Kirk was constantly hit with blunt reminders that, while it appeared at least the Vulcan no longer merely tolerated him, they certainly weren't going to be going on shore leave together anytime in the near future.

Contacting the Ambassador and demanding he wipe away the unwanted memories was a thought the captain had been toying with, but getting a hold of the older Spock whilst he was trying to find a replacement home for the remainder of his people, was a difficulty he didn't feel like pursuing presently. Besides which, he was having a hard time justifying to himself the interruption of the regrouping process with something as trivial as memories. Even if they weren't technically his own. Jim could picture that disastrous exchange.

'_Sorry to bother you; while I realize that you've lost your planet along with most of your people, I was wondering if you'd mind just taking a couple of minutes to fix whatever it was that you scrambled. I keep thinking we're friends when I don't even know you._ '

He snorted to himself. Oh that would certainly go over well. And yet...it just about summed up the whole problem, didn't it. The sense of friendship he caught glimpses of during the mind meld on Delta Vega had just felt so…right. He just couldn't reconcile it with the sort of working relationship he had with the younger Spock. And the fact that he had to differentiate between the two versions at all was enough to keep him feeling out of balance. But this coupled with the effort of remembering to not mention anything regarding his encounter with the Ambassador was also tiring; especially when he kept starting to say something to Commander Spock that he really wanted to say to the Ambassador.

Kirk supposed that eventually he would have to learn to come to grips with the contrast in personalities between the younger Spock and the Ambassador and deal with the fact that the closeness he had felt with the older Spock during and since the mind meld flat out did not exist between himself and the Commander; or himself and the Ambassador for the matter. The only other options he could think of included pulling the older Spock away from his important work on the Vulcan colony or continuously having to deal with the unexpected pangs of loss he kept feeling at seemingly random intervals during his dealings with the younger Spock. Frankly it unnerved him and this had been in large, the reason he had left the Vulcan to watch the bridge.

Giving up on the steak entirely, Jim deposited the meal in the proper receptacle and aiming a brief nod in the direction of the cadet now standing at attention for him, he slowly made his way back to the quarters that had been assigned to him. Even with a number of Vulcan refugees on board, there was still space to house a stow-away. It had taken awhile to get a bunk cleared for him as the officer in charge of sleeping assignments had been injured in the initial attack by Nero, but once a replacement officer had been identified and notified of the situation, Jim had been escorted to his assigned room in short order.

The officer had done his best to locate Kirk as close to the other commanding officers as he could and was rather apologetic with the resulting assignment, but as long as he didn't have to sleep on the floor, Jim wouldn't have cared if he wound up in the bowels of the ship.

As he stood in the lift lit only with emergency spotlights, he reminded himself that he needed to check with Scotty on the progress of the repairs in engineering, although it was something that could certainly wait until his next shift. He supposed if anything critical occurred prior to then, he'd be sure to hear about it.

Making it to his room, he pulled off his Star Fleet issue undershirt and pants, ordered the computers to dim the lights and settled in to his bunk. He lay staring at the ceiling and tried to catalog the ship's myriad of issues so as to verify the status of each during his next shift; instead he found his thoughts moving towards the fleeting images and feelings he had gotten from the Ambassador in between those of a Romulan driven insane with heartbreak and a planet imploding.

Eventually lulled towards sleep with pleasant images from another man's lifetime, his mind slowed and Jim slept.

* * *

AN: This is the first fic that I've written and posted. Constructive criticism is most definitely welcome.

As of 12/29/09 I've gone back over this chapter and corrected some inconsistencies, most important of which is the location of Ambassador Spock. He's no longer building a New Vulcan all by his lonesome somewhere in space.

I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. And lastly, thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The bridge grew gradually quieter as crewman slowly completed what they could of their assigned tasks at their respective stations and had been sent off to either the medical bay for evaluation and treatment or, in the case of a lucky few, directly to their quarters for some much deserved rest. Many of the crewmen with minor or nuisance injuries had elected to stay on duty until some of the strain had been eased from the sickbay. Now that the majority of the serious injuries had been handled, the rest of the affected crew was starting to drift in as their duty shifts allowed.

Aside from the large crack in the hull and view screen, most of the damage had not occurred on the bridge. All departments had sub-stations located on the command deck to repair and reboot systems as needed in the event a section of the ship became inaccessible during an emergency. As such, many of the repairs were being performed from the bridge as a satellite station.

Immediately following the Enterprise's last minute escape from the black hole, damage reports from various areas around the ship began pouring in. Engineering alone was reporting multiple hull breaches, listing at least one as major, and there was reduced power on numerous decks as undamaged power conduits struggled to take the load off damaged ones. Scotty had ended his report with the conclusion that the warp drive was a lost cause until they returned to dock.

This last had been issued in a rather despondent voice which Commander Spock chose to over look at the moment.

"Thank you for the report Mr. Scott. If you think that nothing further can be accomplished at this time, you may retire to your quarters. "

"Aye sir." The connection closed. Spock straightened from the communications console and returned his gaze to the trio of engineers attempting to stabilize a portable containment field that was currently insuring the immense pressure of space didn't cause further damage to the weakened hull of the command deck. Several non vital systems had been taken off line and the power re-routed to support the field. The crewmen appeared to have everything mostly under control and Spock returned to reading the long list of malfunctions and repairs that would be required.

However, now that there were very few distractions, Spock was finding his attention…wandering. It annoyed him to discover this and yet after a day filled with great loss, he found that he could not regain his concentration.

He again saw his mother turning to face him, her hand reaching to him before suddenly disappearing, the sequence looping over and over. Each time it played his mind tweaked the image as though he would be able to save her now as he could not then. He recalled the stunned silence and frozen expressions of those surrounding the transporter platform, followed by Ensign Chekov's devastated apology. The young man had lapsed into his native tongue while he frantically adjusted knobs on the transporter console in a fruitless attempt to locate and reorganize her molecular structure.

Now he was able to see the scene as it played out, but at that moment all he could see was her. Her face was frozen in his mind; not in terror but instead oddly peaceful.

And then Kirk had stepped towards him and she had vanished.

He found he couldn't exit the space fast enough.

After a brief moment in the corridor to insure that he had control of his emotions, he headed for the bridge. It wasn't until after the defeat of Nero that he had allowed himself to stop moving and reflect on the events of the day. There were decisions he had made that he now saw as serious errors in judgment. Becoming emotional in such a crisis was problematic enough, but to then allow that fact to be used against him was inexcusable. There was much that he needed to reflect upon, and he felt meditation would be needed in short order.

Spock checked the time on the corner of the PADD he was clutching. Alpha shift was due to start at 07:00 hours.

He spent the remaining twenty minutes before shift change verifying the status of continuing repairs and assisting the trio of engineers with some minute adjustments to the containment field.

Engrossed as he was in his task, he was still aware of the sound of the lift opening and the shuffling of crewmen as they replaced their counterparts at the various stations. He did not however, acknowledge the meaning of the noise until he placed a last miniature power crystal in its seat to complete a circuit and looked up to the engineer assisting him.

"This power supply should be sufficient until we reach Star Fleet headquarters. Thank you, Lieutenant. I believe Delta shift has ended. You may return to your quarters." He nodded at the young man in dismissal.

The ensign returned his nod and rose to his feet. Turning to leave, he paused briefly to salute Acting Captain Kirk who had entered the bridge with the first of those from Alpha shift. He was now perched against the command chair viewing reports. The ensign waited for Kirk's acknowledgment and then moved into the lift. The door slid shut softly behind him.

The Vulcan returned his attention to Kirk to find the younger man no longer gazing at the reports he held, but Spock himself.

He found that he could not read the man's expression.

" Commander." Kirk's voice was rough and low as he spoke. The bruises ringing his throat were slightly faded thanks to Dr. McCoy's attention, but individual fingerprints were still visible. Spock supposed he was looking at some of his own handiwork and reminded himself that internal balance was something that he would need to work on soon.

"Captain." He nodded and inclined his head towards the PADD in Kirk's hand. "I've taken the liberty of loading the progress of the current repairs and the status of all departments into your reports. If you find that any information proves to be insufficient, please inform me and I will augment them to the best of my ability."

Kirk studied him a moment longer and then turned his attention to the most recent status report. A moment passed.

"These look fine. You're free to go Commander. If I have any questions, I'll contact the appropriate department. "

The Acting Captain seemed subdued this morning. At least in comparison to the admittedly very little, he knew about the man. Perhaps he had realized the full extent and implications of the prior day's catastrophe.

"Sir." He nodded once more and headed for the lift, already running through the necessary preparations for successful meditation.

"Spock." The soft word drew him up short. He turned back to face Kirk once again.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the younger man spoke first.

"I think we need to talk. There are some…things that I need to clarify." He spoke quietly and at the PADD in his hand, not looking in Spock's direction.

"Very well sir. I shall seek you out once Alpha shift has commenced."

Kirk nodded once and then returned his full attention to the reports.

Spock made it to the lift without further interruption and held the door for a trio of young crew members reporting for duty. They skirted him, saluting nervously and dispersed to their assigned stations as he entered. He selected his destination as the door shut and the lift moved towards his quarters.

He supposed Kirk would want to speak about the act of violence that he had enacted on the bridge. Spock was ready to accept any punishments doled out to him; logically speaking he had assaulted a first officer and Star Fleet tended to frown upon such acts. He decided the best course of action would be to express his regret and if necessary, to stand down from his position for the remainder of the voyage home.

Decision made, he exited the lift and strode down the corridor to his quarters on the command wing. The overhead lighting was dimmed; the decks housing general quarters practically running on emergency lights. All power but that needed to run the very basic of necessities had been diverted from living quarters to the engineering deck. Panels that normally covered electrical circuitry and power hubs were propped against the walls next to opened Jeffries tubes. A stray hand phaser lay abandoned and partially dissembled near one such hub. Someone had apparently attempted to get creative in the repairs and was either successful enough to not worry about the resulting mess or frustrated enough to leave it as it was and try something else.

It was just one more pile of detritus lying about the ship as a result of Nero's attack.

Spock reached his quarters and stepped into the dim room. He wasn't bothered by the lack of light; in fact it would only aid in his attempt to meditate. He secured the door and removed the outer layer of his uniform top before settling on his knees in the middle of the floor.

He had plenty to think about and many actions he needed to reconcile to himself before he could attempt to do so for Kirk.

Settling into a light trance, he began to run through the events of the past 48 hours, starting with the hearing at the academy and the first they had heard of a possible threat to Vulcan. He remembered the feeling of panic as they rushed en masse to the shuttle bays for assignment. Here was the first clue that he may not have mastered his emotions as well as he may have liked to think.

And it was here then, that was his starting point for beginning the slow process of bringing them back under his control.  
_________________

A/N: Soo...this took a long time to do and I sincerely hope it was worth the wait. On a positive note, there won't be nearly as long of a wait for the next chapter, as I'm aready working on it. Thanks to everyone who alerted the story and particularly to teaberryva for giving me that little nudge I needed to really sit down and work on it. Even if it took a bit longer than I meant it to. :o)

Betad by the sis. Of course I tinkered after, so all mistakes are my own. Thanks again for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The morning rushed by in a blur that Kirk was rather grateful for. Between coordinating repairs, trying to determine the severity of the remaining damage to the ship and trying to stay on top of fluctuating staffing levels, he was fielding calls from Star Fleet that alternated between frantic and apoplectic. Apparently the higher ups weren't crazy about a 25 year old senior cadet on academic suspension commanding their pride and joy.

Well they could add the Acting Captain in question to the list of concerned parties. He was having as hard of a time of it as they were, if not more. His current strategy was to triple check all of the data he received before issuing orders to make sure he could properly justify everything he was doing. He knew it was slowing him down and he was going to have to change it up soon. He was exhausted already and it was only 1100 hours; there were still two more hours of Alpha shift to get through.

Luckily the department heads had decided to cut him a break and accept his leadership for now. There had been very little chafing amongst the older and more experienced crew members in regards to the change in command and he was rather thankful for that as well.

He just wished Star Fleet command would follow suit and allow him a little breathing room.

All of this wasn't making it any easier to explain his actions to the aides and secretaries that had been hounding him for answers.

He knew what he was doing; after all he had been on the command track at the Academy. He was just having a hard time getting anyone at Star Fleet to listen to what he had to say. More often than not he found he was trying to talk over whichever secretary was reaming him out at the moment for their particular boss. The last transmission had been the worst in a long line of bad conversations and the condescending little snit that had spoken over him at every turn had been the final straw. After a last attempt to actually provide them with some of the answers they were looking for, he had given up and ended the transmission mid snarl.

He was certainly going to pay for that, but couldn't bring himself to care. A break had definitely been in order. The only problem was finding a quiet place that was still close enough to the bridge in case the sky started falling again.

After some stealthy searching, he had finally found a hideout in a small alcove down a main corridor that branched off from the bridge and was taking a much needed breather.

Now that he had finally stopped moving for the first time in hours, his various aches and pains were starting to resurface again. The last hypospray of pain medication had worn off. He briefly considered heading down to McCoy's domain, but he had only just managed to shake the overly tenacious yeoman that was trying to get him to take yet another call from Star Fleet.

He'd have to take it eventually, but he wanted a few moments to gather his thoughts and get his head on straight again.

He felt sorry for the yeoman that would have to put off whomever it was that was calling this time; he figured he'd make it up to him at some point before the journey ended. After all, the trip home wasn't going to be a short one.

It was times like these when he wished he was as cool-headed as the Vulcan; which reminded him of the conversation he had the promised the older man at the end of shift. He didn't think he was going to be up to that if the day continued as it was.

Then again, if Star Fleet had their way he would be jettisoned long before then and it wouldn't even be an issue.

He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. His eyes slipped shut and he let his mind drift. Images of his time at the academy filtered past and he felt himself relax for the first time all morning. He recalled the last trip he and McCoy had made to the local watering hole to celebrate what they had thought at the time was a successful Kobayashi Maru run.

Gods, had it really only been a couple of nights ago? It felt like a lifetime had passed since then. He couldn't begin to imagine what campus was going to be like once they got back.

A soft beep from the communicator at his waist startled him. Damn, but he had been hoping he'd be able to pull off being incommunicado just a little while longer.

"Kirk here, go ahead." He winced as he registered the gravelly tone of his own voice and tried to clear his throat.

"Jim? That you?" the southern accent was rather calming to hear after being yelled at all morning.

"The one and only. What can I do for ya?"

"Well you can start with heading down here so I can look at your throat again."

"It can wait. What do you need?" Kirk hoped it wouldn't require moving any time soon. He wasn't looking forward to leaving his cove of solitude.

"Just wanted to update you on Captain Pike's condition and the latest crew member evaluations. I called the bridge but they seem to be having trouble locating you. Oh and you may want to steer clear of a Yeoman Stanson for a little bit; he sounded a bit miffed with you."

Kirk sighed. "I'm not surprised. I left him with the unenviable task of putting off Star Fleet for me. I can imagine they aren't happy with him either. I'm surprised he hasn't tried my communicator yet."

"He was about to. I told the communications officer I'd do it for him. He seemed happy enough to pass on the task."

In the background bustle of sickbay he heard the clang of a dropped instrument and then much closer, the hiss of a hypospray being triggered. Kirk winced out of sympathy for the poor recipient.

"Well if you're hiding out I suppose getting a crew health update is as good a reason as any to leave the bridge for a bit. Actually you can kill two birds with one stone since Pike was asking for you earlier. And he's doing well enough at this point, that I'll even let you see him."

Another clang in the background and McCoy's voice faded out a bit as he barked at an underling. With a huff his leaned back towards the communicator.

"I swear some of these kids have less sense than Joanna does. And she's five; she's supposed to push my buttons."

Kirk smiled. "Alright I'll be along when I can. I have a feeling as soon as I hit the bridge I'm going to get inundated with messages. And possibly mauled by Stanson."

"See you when you get here. And Kirk," the older man paused for moment, "do be sure that you make it here today. McCoy out. "

Well it looked like his reprieve was over. With a groan Kirk struggled to his feet and straightened his uniform tunic. It was time to face the music.

* * * * *

An hour later and Kirk wished he had stayed in his hiding place. No longer satisfied with chewing him out via an intermediary, the Admiral along with the heads of the R&D and budgetary departments had been grilling him on every decision he had made since assuming command, for the better part of the past forty five minutes.

Kirk was reminded of a historical document he had once seen regarding ancient firing squads. At least those lucky bastards had only had to deal with the immediate situation for a relatively brief amount of time.

He could at least empathize with the administrators' position; Enterprise was the newest in the fleet and for the moment at least, constituted the entirety of said fleet. The Admiral was worried about protecting his investment. Kirk just wished he would go about it a bit differently.

He realized that his mind had been wandering when the general tone of conversation went from heated to hysterical.

"…and he's not even paying attention! This is what Star Fleet is entrusting our greatest asset too? This…this child!" The director of Budget had turned an interesting shade of purple while the Admiral and the R&D director glared daggers at him.

Oh for the love of…that was it. It was time to call in back up. Kirk just hoped he wouldn't regret this decision.

"Would you gentleman hold on for just a second…thanks." He cut the audio feed without waiting for the reply, but the visual was telling him everything he needed to know.

He was pretty sure he hadn't been too far off base with the firing squad.

Thumbing open his communicator he sent a page and waited for the response.

"Spock here."

"Mr. Spock, would you please join me in the ready room."

"Certainly, Captain. Spock out."

Kirk closed the communicator and turned to face the raging administrators once again.

He certainly hoped the cavalry would arrive soon…and that it would be on his side.

* * *

AN: The semester is almost over and therefore I was able to actually sit down for a length of time to complete this. I've made some adjustments as to where the story is going, but the good news is that there's a much improved chance it will actually get there now. Thanks to everyone who alerted and reviewed and I'm dedicating this chapter to teaberryva for being so patient. I hope it holds up. :o)

This chapter is not betaed and I welcome any constructive critiques. Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The lift reached the bridge and the door slid open on to a busy command area. At first glance, the hustle and bustle appeared to be normal, but under closer scrutiny Spock observed that most of the activity did not appear to be work related. Instead it seemed to ebb and flow in direct relation to the raised voices issuing from behind the closed door of the Captain's ready room.

The arrival of a commanding officer however, had an immediate dampening effect. Most of the crew carried on with their duties; however a handful stopped and stared either out right at Spock, or at the ready room door.

What could have transpired while he had been in meditation? Spock turned towards the senior most crew member on the bridge.

"Lieutenant Trotser, report. What is the current status of bridge operations?"

"All is as it should be sir. Er, well as close to should be as is possible, anyway. Sir. " Trotser stammered out, trying to maintain eye contact but not quite managing it.

"And the rest of the ship; I trust there have been no difficulties that require the Captain's immediate attention?" He certainly did not expect there to be, otherwise he should have already been notified.

"None sir." The young man answered as he darted a look towards the closed door.

Spock nodded his approval and moved towards the ready room, but stopped and turned back to the frozen crew members, merely observing them for a moment.

"I would suggest not allowing the Captain's business to interfere with your duties. The distraction can only hinder your work and we can ill afford any more delays."

The chastised crew members slunk back to their stations and work resumed at much more sedate pace.

Satisfied, Spock headed towards the ready room and the door slid back on an angry explanation issuing from Kirk's mouth.

"…high jacked?! I would hardly say that my having been promoted to First Officer and then Captain through _legitimate channels_ constitutes high jacking your ship!"

The door slid shut behind him and drew the attention of the men on screen.

A quick review of the situation showed Kirk pacing in front of the viewer on the desk and on screen were three older gentlemen who had been positively glowering at the younger man. At second glance, one of the men appeared as though he may be in need of medical attention. Spock was fairly certain humans were not intended to take on the particular shade of plum the man was currently sporting.

Kirk turned to continue his pacing and caught sight of Spock. He immediately relaxed and opened his mouth as though to speak, then abruptly snapped it shut and turned away for a moment. When he turned back, the relaxed stance was gone and the man seemed guarded.

"Ah, Mr. Spock. Thank you for joining us. Would you kindly tell the Admiral that Captain Pike promoted me to First Officer please? I thought I was speaking English, but these guys" a jerk of his head indicated the screen where said men were now quietly watching them,"either don't speak it, or are unfamiliar with my particular dialect. I rather suspect the latter."

Spock inclined his head and turned to the viewer.

"Admiral Barnett. Directors Shepard and Dale." He nodded to each individually.

"I can confirm Acting Captain Kirk's statement. Captain Pike did indeed promote former Cadet Kirk to the rank of First Officer prior to his departure of the Enterprise and his subsequent…incapacitation."

The Admiral studied the Vulcan for a moment.

"Fine. I'll accept that as the case; however, what I'm not quite grasping is how Kirk came to be Captain. Were you not Acting Captain in Pike's absence? I'd very much like to know what happened to change the situation gentlemen. " The man cut his eyes back towards Kirk.

Kirk glared at the ceiling and he gripped the back of the leather chair he stood behind. He appeared to be having an internal debate of some sort. "I feel as though I've answered this already. Oh wait, because I have; numerous times."

Spock stepped forward and stood at attention. It was time to reap the consequences of his actions. He briefly allowed himself to hope that the Admiral would not see fit to strip him of his duties right then and there; he then immediately squashed the thought. After all, it would not affect the outcome of the situation in the slightest and allowing himself to consider such a human notion at the moment was not advisable in his already unstable condition.

"I believe I can provide the answers that you seek, Admiral. After the destruction of Vulcan, I allowed myself to become…emotionally compromised. This unfortunate lapse in control was a grave mistake and one that I will not allow to occur again; in the midst of this loss of control, I assaulted First Officer Kirk on the bridge..."

The sputtering started back up on screen and Kirk interjected "It was hardly assault. More like…a disagreement. "

Spock raised his voice slightly in order to be heard over the younger man's protestation.

"…after which I informed Dr. McCoy that I was unfit for duty and relinquished my command. It was in the best interest of the ship, sir. I have prepared a written report clearly outlining in detail what transpired and will transmit it to you immediately."

None of the men on screen looked any happier after the explanation.

"See that you do Commander. I look forward to reading it and trust that it will shed some much needed light on the events you have just described."

The Admiral paused and considered the two young men. Beside him, Director Shepard was sipping from a glass of water and his face had returned to a more natural color.

The man spoke again: "The efforts of all of those involved in both defeating Nero and saving Earth are laudable and will be commended. However, rest assured that all transgressions and non sanctioned behaviors will be thoroughly investigated and dealt with. Star Fleet does not and will not stand for insubordination amongst its officers. The fact that we are currently operating under unusual circumstances does not change a thing. "

He turned and faced Kirk directly. "I would remind you that you are on very tenuous ground as it is, Kirk. Your successes in this mess may go a ways towards re-instating your status at the Academy, but you cannot afford any more blemishes on your record. Should I find anything in Mr. Spock's report, not even Pike will be able to save you."

The connection was cut and Kirk slowly let out a breath. Tugging his tunic down and straightening his shoulders he turned back towards Spock. The Vulcan had not moved but was now observing the younger man.

"Thank you for your assistance Mr. Spock. I'd been arguing with them for the better part of an hour."

"No need to thank me, Captain. It is highly illogical for the Admiral to doubt such information; especially when it is so easily verifiable. One would only need to question Pike in order to verify the accuracy of the claim."

Kirk snorted. "I don't think that has occurred to any of them; they were too busy yelling accusations at me. And they question _my_ leadership abilities." He shook his head, swung the chair around and sank into it.

A grimace appeared briefly on his face. "About that report, Spock…should I be worried?"

"I can see no reason for you to be. All that is contained within is the truth and can be verified by any number of witnesses."

"So that's a yes then."

"I am not sure I follow your reasoning, Captain."

"The truth, Spock, is that I deliberately provoked a senior officer into an altercation with the express intention of assuming command. In short, I picked a fight so that I could take over as Captain. It's practically mutiny; hell, it _is_ mutiny. Don't think that the administration is going to see it any other way."

Kirk sighed, turned away from him and began swiveling the chair from side to side. It appeared that he was studying the room around them.

The Vulcan found nothing of particular interest in the room. It was sparsely furnished; a solid desk with a chair tucked in behind it, two more in front of it, one of which Kirk was now perched in, and the viewer on top. To the left of the desk stood a large bookshelf which contained only a picture of Pike's promotion ceremony. In it stood Pike himself, the admiral directly preceding Barnett and another man Spock did not know.

It was fairly obvious Pike had not had time to settle in to the space before the ship had been called in to action.

Spock returned his gaze to the blond and moved further into the room.

"Captain, I believe that if all of the factors are explored within the context of the situation, one can only logically conclude that…"

"Logic…you keep throwing that word around like it actually means something."

Kirk spun back around to face him and Spock found that he couldn't quite place the look on his face.

"These are administrators we're talking about. Logic falls far behind politics, budgets and public opinion. They could view this entire mess with a logical eye and determine I was not in the wrong; an outcome I highly doubt since _I'm_ not entirely certain I was right. And in the next breath send my ass packing back to Iowa because they need to show they're cracking down on loose cannons. The last thing Earth wants to see right now is their strongest peacekeeping force and first line of defense as an unorganized and untrustworthy entity."

Spock decided that the expression was one of someone who had accepted their situation for what is was but found themselves thoroughly disheartened with it.

He opened his mouth to request that Kirk clarify his statement about the rightness of his actions, but was interrupted by Kirk's communicator.

The blond groaned, but plucked the device from his belt and flipped it open.

"Kirk here, go ahead."

"Jim, it's Bones again. Pike is awake and looking for you. Now would be a good time to get down here, if you catch my drift."

The doctor's voice was as harried as Kirk's had been when he had summoned Spock.

"On my way. Kirk out." He pushed the communicator back onto his belt, stood and nodded at the Vulcan.

"Dismissed Mr. Spock."

He watched as the younger man seemed to pull his Captain persona back around him and strode out of the room and towards the lift. The door shut behind him.

If Spock had not just witnessed it himself, he would never have guessed there was more to James T. Kirk than the confident and slightly arrogant man that had just departed.

He found himself suddenly looking forward to the ensuing discussion even more.

* * *

AN: As it the holiday season and I have no homework to do, I decided to try to get a post out before New Year's and I even managed to pull it off. This chapter is even a little bit longer than usual. :o) Thanks to everyone who alerted and reviewed; as always please feel free to leave feedback. At this point it's safe to assume that this chapter has not been betaed and all mistakes are my own.

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

G deck housed the sickbay complex, impulse engineering and an auxiliary bridge and therefore was one of the few decks with sections running on full power. While the science labs were also located on this deck, the majority of the equipment meant for the science missions had yet to be turned on. The labs were running on reduced power and currently the only experiments being performed were on the power supply.

In fact not everyone was pleased with these experiments; Kirk had already gotten an earful from Scotty about 'the cavalier manner' in which the crew was treating the ship. He'd allowed the irate man to blow off some steam for about thirty seconds and just when Kirk was about to cut him off, the Scot had suddenly stopped. He'd muttered something about reversing the flows of the warp plasma conduits and abruptly signed off. At least the Scotsman had the ship's best interest at heart. And it certainly didn't hurt that he was amusing as hell to listen to once he got going.

Entering the receiving area of sickbay, Kirk was reminded that this section of the ship had been hit hard in the initial attack. Signs of makeshift repairs were visible along the left walls, reaching back into the intensive care unit. The electronic life support modules had been pulled away from the wall and moved towards the other end of the bay.

It was here that he found Bones monitoring the vitals of a crewman from engineering. The young man was unconscious, although from the little he'd learned about reading vitals at the Academy, Kirk was fairly certain the man was stable.

McCoy had looked up at the sound of his approach. Greeting the younger man, the doctor frowned as he inspected the ring of purple around his neck.

"Ah, Jim. Finally got around to comin' down I see. Thanks for gracin' me with your presence." He aimed a tricorder at the bruises and nodded at the readings. Kirk waved off the device, ignoring Bones' annoyed huff.

"Finally got Command off my back; for the moment at least. Pike wants to see me; where is he?"

"He's in the isolation unit. You can go on back. Just make sure you see me before you leave."

Kirk nodded and headed for the back of the suite. The isolation unit was positioned at the rear of sickbay; the door was propped open, but the privacy curtain was pulled shut.

Pike looked up from a PADD resting in his lap as Kirk stepped through the door. A brief smile crossed his face.

"I see I've finally been deemed fit for visitors." He tapped the screen of the PADD and an image of the Star Fleet emblem replaced the document he had been reading.

"So, how's my ship holding up?"

Kirk returned the grin. "She'll make it back to Earth, sir. I'll have to apologize for the scratches though. I know it was a new paint job."

Pike's expression turned slightly wistful. "Didn't expect her to remain brand new forever. Well Captain, give me the full report."

Kirk found himself standing at attention as he relayed the current status of operations and repairs for the ship.

"…and Scotty is currently investigating ways to increase the power flow to the personnel levels. Hopefully we can get enough to run the sonic showers at the least. The crew would appreciate that. "

Pike nodded and studied the young man in front of him. Kirk suddenly had to suppress the urge to squirm.

"What about you? How are you holding up?"

"Sir?"

"Taking command of a ship this size and this new would be a lot for any Captain, much less one that hasn't even completed the command track at the Academy. " Pike leaned back and waited.

The younger man was stumped for a moment. Was his command being questioned? He wracked his brain for anything he may have done to warrant a dressing down by a superior officer. He shifted slightly and glanced towards the PADD lying on the bed. Had Star Fleet forwarded Spock's report already; and what was in it? He definitely needed to read that sooner rather than later.

"I'm pretty sure I haven't given anyone reason to question my abilities in running this ship sir. I've been working with the senior staff and Commander Spock fairly closely on regulating the daily…"

"That isn't what I asked you." Pike's steady gaze was seriously starting to bug him.

"With all due respect, I'm not sure what it is that you _are_ asking sir." He couldn't help the note of petulance that crept into his voice.

His tone certainly hadn't escaped Pike either. The older man's gaze hardened slightly.

"Running a ship with four hundred plus crewman and personalities can get tough. Running that same ship with massive damages, limited supplies and a long trek home can seem pretty unmanageable. As the Captain you are expected to keep it together for that crew and make sure everything runs smoothly. Sure, things may get bumpy from time to time; after all none of us is perfect whether we want to admit it or not. It takes a strong personality to want to join Star Fleet and occasionally your actions are going to be questioned. Remember that."

Oh yeah, that was definitely Spock's report under the innocuous image of the Star Fleet emblem.

Pike's tone softened as he continued.

"When I recruited you, it wasn't because of your name. It was because I saw something in you; something that said to me that you are more than capable of captaining a star ship. I still see that quality in you; the question is, do you?"

Kirk was silent. This was not at all how he imagined this conversation going.

Another moment passed and Pike nodded slightly to himself.

"Check in with Dr. McCoy on your way out. All of the crew needs to be healthy right now and that includes the Captain."

Settling back against the pillow, Pike retrieved the PADD unit and commenced reading.

Well that was certainly a dismissal if ever he had heard one. The young man snapped off a quick salute and turned for the door. He paused just over the threshold of the room as Pike spoke again.

"Think about what I said Kirk and maybe you'll have an answer for me next time we speak."

The blond nodded, escaped back into the relative safety of the sick bay's common area and headed for the door. The last thing he wanted right now was to deal with McCoy after that little chat. He had been feeling fairly confident about how he'd handled everything so far. At least he'd thought he had until Pike's speech had brought up some nagging little concerns he'd been pushing aside.

He'd almost made it to the door when a flash of blue in front of him made him pull up short.

McCoy took one look at his face and sighed deeply. He then turned and headed for his office, sure in the knowledge that Kirk would follow.

"C'mon kid, I've got some good stuff in my desk. I need a drink if I'm going to listen to this."

* * *

AN: This chapter isn't as long as I would like it to be and I'm not entirely pleased with it, but I wanted to stop messing with it and just get something posted.

Real life has once again gotten in the way of finishing this story. However at long last I will actually be graduating next Saturday which is a rather nice feeling.

I haven't forgotten about this story and the occasional reviews remind me that there are other people out there that haven't either. It is to those people and those that have alerted this story in the hopes that it will get updated sometime this year, that I dedicate this chapter.

In any case please feel free to review and let me know what you think; it is my motivation to keep writing it. :o)


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